I think I won the penis lottery.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
