Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
