hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
