she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize