Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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