my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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