If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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