i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I believe in your delicious
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
