im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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