Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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