doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
