I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize