I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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