my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
