U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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