did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can text with my tongue
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This toilet bowl is my home.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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