And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
