Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
