Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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