Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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