Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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