I didn't shave. On purpose
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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