And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
