nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
