Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
please come you make the beer taste better
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
