then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
