I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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