you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize