Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
