My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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