sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
