How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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