Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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