I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
