who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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