I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
