One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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