Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
