Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
