I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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