So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Someone shattered a urinal.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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