My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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