Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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