My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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