That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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