I hate all girls vehemently.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
