Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
