why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize