Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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