I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
