apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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