I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
