actually, I'm a sock model
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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