I am puke
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize