Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
