Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
