If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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