respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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