i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
