I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
