I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
