I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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