It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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